The Importance of Family

Gatherings with your relatives may be more important than you think. Did you know that familial encounters not only provide positive experiences, but also can play a large role in how successful and happy you are in life?

"Families through time have changed, but they have not declined in importance to Americans," says Dr. Vern Bengtson, professor of gerontology and sociology at the University of Southern California in Los Angeles. "Multi-generational bonds represent a valuable resource for families in the 21st century and are becoming more important than nuclear family ties for well-being and support over the course of our lives."

Modern Woodmen of America, a fraternal life insurance organization dedicated to helping people achieve quality family life, sponsored a Harris Interactive survey based on 1,001 random telephone interviews. Poll results indicate that most Americans aged 25 to 65 (98 percent) believe it is good for children to know their relatives and family history. Americans connect with their families through a variety of gathering activities, such as holiday meals, weddings, birthday parties, reunions, family vacations and less formal get-togethers. In fact, the survey indicates that approximately nine out of 10 Americans have attended a family event in the past three years, and 72 percent of Americans attend multiple family gatherings throughout the year.

Why? The reasons vary and overlap. Americans cite everything from the noble desire to provide their children with the opportunity to know their relatives and to learn about their family heritage to participating just because family events are fun.

"Face-to-face contact provides the contextual part of what it means to be family," explains Michael Benjamin, executive director for the Council On Family Relations in Minneapolis, Minn.

"We are genetically predisposed to cling to our family," explains Dr. Bengtson. "It is wired into us the need to bond with family members. Historically, family relationships have played the most basic role of all -- ensuring survival. Today, most people rely on family interactions to provide an affirming, positive experience. They provide a sense of support and an identity of who we are and what's unique about us."

While the most dramatic results appear to revolve around the parent-child-grandchild relationship, relationships with more distant relatives such as aunts, uncles and cousins also are important.

"Intergenerational and extended family relationships not only create a sense of identity but, even today, are a valuable resource for exchanging information, services and goods," says Dr. Bengtson.

Close extended family relationships can have educational, economic and professional implications. According to Benjamin, people with extended family contacts tend to be more literate and reach out to get more education and better jobs.

People who cultivate extended family relationships are at an advantage emotionally and are often more successful in their personal lives. Both children and adults benefit from these relationships during times of great stress, such as tragedy, death or divorce. They also reap the rewards when joyous events enter their lives, whether it is a new job, a new child or a milestone birthday.

It is even suspected that interaction with extended family can have a positive effect on your lifespan and physical health. "We have seen evidence that an increased degree of positive contact with family can add years to your life," points out Dr. Bengtson. "We have strong reason to believe that people with active children and grandchildren relationships live longer."

Children today are very fortunate," he says. "Provided their parents take the initiative, they have more opportunities for interaction with the larger extended family than children several generations ago. They literally have more relatives living."

Even though technology allows families to keep in touch and share personal milestones more easily, Dr. Bengtson also cautions against relying too much on long-distance technological conveniences, such as e-mail and teleconferencing. Nothing replaces the experience of actually gathering in the same room with family.

Modern Woodmen encourages families to gather face to face. To help facilitate this, it has developed a Web site called www.gatherings.info, which makes planning family get-togethers simple.

"Sometimes there is a sense of something missing if you do not have face-to-face contact," Dr. Bengtson emphasizes. "In-person contact gives you the ability to discern subtle nuances and cues in other people. Body language and gestures say a lot. And touch is very, very important, especially for the very young and very old."

With families dispersed all over America, technology helps to bring those families together now more than ever -- and not just during the holidays. "But you just can't beat a hug or pat on the shoulder," he concludes.

EDITOR'S NOTE: For more information, contact Shelby Kraus, Henry Russell Bruce Public Relations, (319) 298-0242, skraus@hrb-ideas.com.