Column: July Fourth party yields injuries and arrests

LA GRANGE - What started out as a friendly Fourth of July party in La Grange resulted in multiple arrests Saturday night.

The party, which was held on Firetower Road, was thrown by known rabble-rouser and Free Press customer service representative Paulette Burroughs.

"I've thrown a Fourth of July party for years," Burroughs said. "One year we had David Allen Coe and Snoop Dog booked to perform, but they both chickened out."

Authorities immediately responded to reports of drunken behavior Saturday night.

"Burroughs, who was by all accounts schnoockered at the time, had been taunting Free Press education reporter Chris Lavender all evening," an undercover ATF agent said.

Burroughs alledgedly poked Lavender in the buttocks with a No. 2 pencil multiple times during the festivities.

When Lavender threatened to call the police, Burroughs reportedly doused Lavender's 1984 LeCar coupe in gasoline and set it on fire.

"I bought that car with money I earned interning for Bill Clinton when I lived in Arkansas," Lavender said, wiping a tear from his cheek. "Do you know how many cigars and copies of ‘Big Girl' I had to deliver to pay for that car?"

Free Press photographer Janet Sutton, who arrived late to the party due to a prior commitment for the Rick James Foundation, collapsed after seeing Free Press Managing Editor Bryan Hanks lose his slacks in a game of strip poker.   

When contacted for comment, Sutton simply replied "The horror ... the horror."

Lenoir County Sheriff Billy Smith's tone was equally cryptic.

"We just took over La Grange law enforcement duties last week," Smith said. "The economy has put a strain on our department, and our officers are refusing to patrol the area around Burrough's compound without hazard pay."

Free Press publisher Patrick Holmes, who was attending a spandex convention in San Francisco, could not be reached for comment.

Jon Dawson can be reached at (252) 559-1083 or at jdawson@freedomenc.com. Check out Jon's blog at http://email.thirdofnever.com.