Column: Winnie turned Talladega upside down

TALLADEGA, Ala. - For years, decades even, Talladega Superspeedway was a huge, coiled rattlesnake. Over time, NASCAR removed its fangs, excising the venom with carburetor restrictor plates, better safety standards, enough gimmicks to fill a magician's bag of tricks and cute, blocky cars that seemed to be modeled from 1/64-scale collectibles instead of vice-versa.

Imagine the rallying cry at the Research and Development Center: "Guess what? Kids'll love them."

Now Talladega isn't a rattlesnake anymore. It's more like Mother Nature, except, of course, that auto racing could scarcely have less to do with, oh, nature. Same rule applies, though: Don't mess with her.

Most of the drivers who were supposed to win the Aaron's 499 must have fallen from favor with the grand old dame. Tony Stewart and Dale Earnhardt Jr. combined to lead 107 out of the first 149 laps. Perhaps this seemed a bit gaudy for the NASCAR Goddess of Fate. Let's call her Winnie.

While holding up the actual rain - it fell on race morning and about an hour after it ended - Winnie rained fire and brimstone on the poor, wretched humans who might otherwise have been expected to prosper. Cast out of the Garden of Eden - OK, it was Victory Lane - were the acknowledged masters of this most fickle of stock-car endeavors.

The bottom seven spots in the finishing order included a two-time champion (Stewart), two other champions (Matt Kenseth and Kurt Busch), the current season's biggest winner (Carl Edwards) and a driver who made the Chase last year (Martin Truex Jr.). In fairness, Ken Schrader and Reed Sorenson did manage to take up the very bottom.

The winner of both Talladega races in 2007, Jeff Gordon, plummeted from fifth to 19^th in the final eight laps. As in the previous race here, Gordon led one lap. In October 2007, though, it was the last one. This time it was the 126^th out of 188.

The winner this time, Kyle Busch, began the day with an average finish at this track of 31.7 and a career best of 11^th. The runner-up, Juan Pablo Montoya, hadn't finished better than 15^th at Talladega or 13^th this season.

Maybe the law of averages just caught up. Or maybe Winnie was laughing uproariously as she conjured up the post-race rain.

You can reach Monte Dutton at mdutton@gastongazette.com.