With the economy in the toilet and more local businesses shutting down, Kinston has to do something to jump start this economy.

I went around The Free Press newsroom and asked different people which stores they'd like to see come to town.

Nancy Saunders said that a fabric store would be nice.

Bryan Hanks, after much reflection, stated that a Hooters Restaurant would hit the spot. I have never been to Hooters, but I'm told none of the staff have ever drowned.

Paulette "The Greek" Burroughs said she would like to see a Casino come to town.

"It would save me a lot of time commuting back and forth to Atlantic City," Paulette said.

As Paulette spoke, out of the corner of my eye I could see that reporter Chris Lavender was still healing from the wounds inflicted by Paulette a few weeks ago.

Moving the bandages away from his face so he could speak, Lavender said that he would like to see a Build-A-Bear store come to Kinston.

"Ever since Paulette beat me up - twice - I've been having night-sweats and horrible flashbacks," Lavender said. "A nice teddy bear with a soothing voice might help me sleep at night."

Photographer Janet Sutton, who suggested the Build-A-Bear, was in favor of a Victoria's Secret.

"It's hard to find good draws in Kinston," Sutton said.

Pat Holmes is in favor of a spandex shop. Apparently, since our bid for the White House went over like a burp in church, Pat has been working on a line of spandex clothing for journalists.

His biggest success so far, "The Admiral", is tight little number that can turn any ordinary work day into a briss.

While I like my job, I'll never be able to super-size my happy meal on a writer's salary, so I've decided to open a business that will never lack business in Kinston: a bail bond company.

"JD's Bail Bond/Oil Change/Massage Parlor" is set to open in April. We're not sure if we'll be building on the site of the old train station, or if we'll run it out of my car.

The point is that if you've been arrested, need your oil changed, or have a knot in your shoulder, I'm your man.

 This week's column is dedicated to my buddy William Stroud III.