Adventures in a parallel universe

Some of the world's leading scientists believe parallel universes exist. If that's true, that means there is another world just like ours floating somewhere out in space.

And other worlds are a little different.

Imagine a world in which Steve Bartman does not reach out of the stands and knock the ball out of Moises Alou's hands, and the Cubs go on to win the 2003 World Series. An existence in which Dennis Eckersley strikes out Kirk Gibson in Game 1 of the 1988 World Series, and Jack Buck believes what he just saw.

Imagine a pass from Grant Hill sailing over Christian Laettner's head, and Kentucky winning in overtime. Imagine Dwight Clark missing The Catch, and Joe Montana clutching his helmet in defeat. Imagine Mike Tyson knocking out Buster Douglas and remaining on top of the boxing world.

In theory, all of these scenarios have happened somewhere.

Think of Branch Rickey not breaking the color barrier, and Jackie Robinson never becoming a household name. Think of the Red Sox not trading Babe Ruth, and Yankee Stadium never becoming the House that Ruth Built. Think of Bobby Thompson not hitting the shot heard round the world, and the Giants never winning the pennant.

In your mind's eye, picture a world that was exactly like Earth until Wilt Chamberlain scored 99 points instead of 100, until Michael Phelps won seven gold medals instead of eight, or until Roger Maris hit 60 home runs instead of 61.

Think, somewhere, Buckner fielded the ball cleanly, and the Red Sox won the World Series. Somewhere else, Michael Jordan missed "The Shot" and never really panned out after that.

Imagine a world in which Peyton Manning is strictly a football player. And he scoffs at the idea of doing commercials.

Imagine Denny Green, admitting, "They're not who we thought they were. And I'm big freaking idiot for thinking they were something that they are not."

Imagine Mike Singletary saying, "I had no real reason to drop my drawers, but you should've seen the looks on my players' faces."

I'd like to see Alex Rodriguez come out and say, "OK maybe us ballplayers do make too much money. I mean, some people are struggling out there."

I'd like Manny to quit being Manny, T.O. to quit being T.O. and Chad Johnson to quit being Ocho Cinco.

I'd like Bill Walton, Isiah Thomas, Craig Sager and anything else associated with the NBA to just go away.

Now, maybe that's just wishful thinking for this world. But, it's comforting knowing somewhere they already have.

Jess Huffman (252) 635-5669 or at jhuffman@freedomenc.com.